Eddie Gil Jokes

Medyas
Isang alalay: Boss Eddie Gil, bakit magkaiba ang medyas mo? Isang green, isang red.
Eddie Gil: Ewan ko nga kung saan ito nabili ni Misis. May isang pares pa ako na ganito sa bahay.

Eddie Gil Makes a Wish
Eddie Gil shows a map of the Philippines to a genie and wishes that all the islands be connected by fly-overs.
Genie: I'm not that good. Make another wish!
Eddie Gil: Okay. Make me intelligent!
Genie: Can i see the map again?

Eddie Gil calling a hotel receptionist.
Eddie Gil: Paano ako makakalabas dito sa kuwarto ko?
Receptionist: Bakit po sir, ano pong problema sa mga pinto?
Eddie Gil: Dalawa lang ang pinto. Ang isa pag bukas ko banyo. 'Yung isa naman may nakasabit na "do not disturb."

Medical Exam
Eddie Gil is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his shirt and throws it away as well. His pants, socks and watch follow suit. The nurse, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Miss, I am only following the instructions, " he says, " it says here, "Answer the following questions in brief'."

Elevator
Eddie Villanueva: Sorry I'm late! brownout! na stuck sa elevator for one hour.
Eddie Gil: Wala yan ako three hours sa escalator.

Six or Eight
Eddie Gil calls into a take-out pizza parlor.
Pizza man: Would you like your pizza sliced into six or eight?
Eddie Gil: Six, I don't think I could eat eight.

Ballerina
While watching a ballerina tip toeing on stage, Eddie Gil commented: "Ang tanga naman ng direktor! Bakit hindi na lang sya kumuha ng matangkad?!"

In a coffee shop:
Eddie Gil: 1 coffee please
Waiter: Decaf, sir?
Eddie Gil: Of course! Debaso is too big and too much for me!

Pizzeria
While in a pizzeria.
Eddie Gil : What are your specialties?
Waiter : Sir, we serve all kinds of pizza.
Eddie Gil : Talaga, bigyan mo nga ako ng Shakey's!!

Science Class
In a science class.
Classmate : Bakit yung airplane pag umiikot ang elisi, uma-angat sa lupa? Bakit yung bentilador kahit umiikot, nasa mesa pa din?
Eddie Gil : Tanga ka pala eh! Kasi yung bentilador may kurdon!

There was a magic mirror that ate liars.
An ugly person stood in front of it and said: I think I'm CUTE! - kinain siya. Then, a fat person stood in front of it and said: I think I'm SEXY! - kinain siya. Then, Eddie Gil stood in front of it and said: I think... - kinain na.

Ligo (huwaaaattt???!!!)

The potato chips that taste like sardines... hehehehehehe

20 Sablay Quotes

Top 20 SABLAY Quotes

1.I couldn't care a damn!
2. What's your next class before this?(ANO DAW???!!!)
3. Nothing in this world is perfect except the word "change"
4. Can you repeat that for the second time around once more from the top? (ulitin natin hanggang mamatay tayo!)
5. My dad brought home a lot of hand-me-downs! (Translation: Daming pasalubong ng tatay ko.)
6. Standard and Chartered Bank
7. I'm very iterated!!! (transalation: galit sya!)
8. I'm sorry, my boss just passed away. (translation: kakadaan lang ng boss nya.)
9. Hello, my boss is out of town. Would you like to wait?
10. What happened after the erection of Mayon Volcano?
11. Don't touch me not!
12. Hello?... For a while, please hang yourself...
13. Its spilled milk under the bridge.
14. Don't change anything! Keep it at ease.
15. Hello McDo? Mag-i-inquire lang ako kung magkano ang kidney meal? (yung pangbatang pagkain)
16. You!!! You're not a boy anymore! You're a man anymore!(hmmm...sounds familiar)
17. Out of fit ako these days eh... (translation: di sya nakakapag-exercise)
18. Come, lets join us!
19. Bring down the house down!
20. I'm the world champion of the World!!!

Filipino Hidden Expression

1. "Mwah" means... "I love you"
2. "La lang" means..... "I miss you"
3. "Ok ka lang?" means... " ano ka hilo?!?!"
4. "Hay nako!" means..... " seryoso ako"
5. "Ingat ka lagi" means... "I care for you"
6. "Musta na?" means... " sino'ng love mo?"
7. "Secret" means..... " ikaw"
8. "Ano'ng problema mo?" means... " hurt naman ako"
9. "Kayo pa rin ba?" means.... "ako naman"
10. "Chick boy ka pala eh!" means..... " ang kapal mo!!!"
11. "Grabe ha!!!" means... " selos ako"
12. "Saan?" means..... " sama ako!"
14. "Inaantok na ako" means..... "wala kang kwentang kausap"
15. "May gagawin pa ako eh" means..... "maghanap ka ng kausap mo"
16. "Bakit naman?" means..... "alam mo namang ikaw lang"
17. "Nakakaaliw ka" means..... " ang cute mo "
18. "Ewan" means..... " oo "
19. "Ganon?" means... "kapal mo!!"
20. "Eh kasi" means... " nahihiya ako"
21. "Talaga lang ha?" means... "naku, bola!!"
22. "Basta" means... "magtanong ka pa"
23. "Busy ka?" means... " kausapin mo naman ako "
24. "Pwede ba" means... " mas cute naman ako sa kanya"
25. "May kasabay ka?" means..... "nood tayo ng sine & kain sa labas"
26. "Miss' nahulog" means..... "anong number mo?"
27. "Magwiwithdraw pa ako" means... "ikaw muna!!"
28. "May barya ka sa 100?" means..... "pautang muna, sa sweldo na kita babayaran"
29. "Kawawa ka naman" means... "Buti nga...sabi ko sayo eh!"
30. "Susunod ako" means... "umalis ka na! Ang kulit mo eh"
31. "Thank you sa gift ha" means..."Ang cheap mo naman"

Life And A Can Of Beer

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favorite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. "The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else--the small stuff.

If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. "Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers. "

My Family

left to right:

Mom, Joyce, Sofie, Tita Terry and Kai



baba:

Kai and Ahbie

taas:

Sofie and Gigs





Mark and Me



Kai, Sofie and Ahbie



Me and Mark


hehehehehe...

Friend

Friend
by ferdinand ian ray s. tan


When trouble came

You are always at my side

Till dawn end

And through my lonely nights

When I was lost

You pulled me to my sense

And told me to strive

In every problem

You are here

To help me solve

And give me consolation

Through the days of our lives

You are here at my side

Truely you are really one

A friend indeed

Difference

Difference
by ferdinand ian ray s. tan


We are differ from each other

In clothing, age and likes

I am quiet and snobbish

You are friendly and cheerful

Every time we meet

We are like hot and cold water

Mix up to blow up a cup

just like black and white

Sometimes we never understand each other

That's why we fool each other

Like east and west

Now i understand why we have difference

Because of it i learn to live and relic life

But most important is i learn to love you most

*dedicated to my wifey (maviel faye p. galvez)

A Tear Of Goodbye

A Tear Of Goodbye
by ferdinand ian ray s. tan


empty spaces between my fingers

wants to be with you

too many faces in the crowd

which i must stand proud

lonely nights are so cold

needing a hug from the one that so cold

a tear felt from the eyes

right after you say goodbye

now i'm all alone

lonely as could it be

finding my own way

alone again to a road that no one's want to be

i hate what i feel

i'm so weak down inside

may someone help me

because the love that i known has lost

Secret Love

Secret Love
by ferdinand ian ray s. tan


What a fool i have been

To fall in-love with you

I know you are my type of girl

I don't know when you'll be mine

If you only knew everytime and place

I want to see your warmth face

To catch your smile and feel your embrace

And be with you always

Would you believe when you are near

My full concentration are so clear

For all of it i had no fear

As long as you are with me my dear

But whenever you are at my side

I could not start to say a word

To let you realized

It is you i think day and night

You never knew how i felt

The feeling i long kept

I have been keeping this for a very long time

That it is you i think day and night

I have love you and i really do

And i care for you, yes i do

But there is no strength

To say the words that i love you

I cannot explained the reason why

When you are away i want to cry

For you this may means nothing

For me this means everything

One Last Goodbye

One Last Goodbye
by ferdinand ian ray s. tan


a tear fell from my eyes

a loneliness that can be heard

a sadness that cannot be measured

from the very deep of the abyss

the wound is to deep

living with pain is to much

suffering is all i have

six months of torment

listening to a tunes without a rhythm

whistling a song without a rhymes

river of tears flow

smile of sadness that cannot be describe

the end is near

one last hug

one last kiss

one last goodbye

Missing Her

Missing Her
by ferdinand ian ray s. tan

Memoirs of the past

Memory that never last

I thougt it was over

But it haunt me forever

Things that i regrets

Things that i never do

It took time to recover

From the sadness that cannot be cover

Although past is past

How can i move on

When i think of the future

And there you'll be

If i die tonight

Please do not shed a tear for me

If God will permit

I will be your guardian angel

Memories always lies ahead

Killing me a little each day

I told God how i misses you

Please come back to my life

Pork Binagoongan with Talong

another recipe

Pork Binagoongan with Talong

1 kilo of Pork (pede liempo o kaya laman)
2 cups of water
1 head of garlic (minced)
4 siling kulay green (minced) (lagyan mo ng pula kung gusto mo ng maanghang)
1/2 cup ng bagoong alamang
1 onion (white mas masarap at mabango)
1/2 cup ng vinegar
4 tablespoon ng segunda mano asukal (not so brown sugar)
1 pork cubes
1 teaspoon ng canola veg oil (para mabango)
4 pcs talong (hatiin ng pahaba)


how to cook

1. hatiin ang pork sa desire size tapos pakuluan, hayaan kumula hanggang lumabas ang mantika ahunin lamang kung ito ay medyo golden brown na at itabi.
2. painitin ang canola veg oil tapos igisa ang garlic sunod ang onion at yung siling kulay green tapos ilagay ang pork at yung 2 cup ng tubig at yung pork cubes, hayaan kumulo.
3. pagmedyo nawala na yung tubig ilagay ang bagoong alamang at halu-haluin sa loob ng 5 minuto.
4. ilagay ang vinegar at haluin ng mabuti.
5. ilagay ang sugar and let it simmer for 5 minutes o kaya hanggang ito ay halos luto na.
6. ilagay ang talong at mag antay ng mga 3 minutes.

serving for about 5 to 6 person

How to create Baked Tuna

hehehehe yung inaantay ng iba dyan.. ito na po yung recipe...

BAKED TUNA recipe ni ianne

1 can of tuna (must be SOLID IN VEG. OIL) (drained from oil and crush the tuna)
1 tablespoon of butter (i use queensland butter)
1 small box of a quick melting cheese (i use quikmelt) (grated and sliced)
2 eggs
white pepper 1/4 teaspoon (mc cornmick)
oregano 1/2 teaspoon (mc cornmick)

how to cook

1. lagyan ng slice cheese yung microwaveable plastic container hanggang matakpan ang ilalim
2. lagyan ng tuna yung container, spread mo sya hanggang matakpan yung cheese
3. ibate yung 2 itlog sa container, ihalo ang butter, white pepper at yung oregano
4. ilagay sa container na may tuna at evenly spread yung ibinate na itlog hanggang buong container mayroon na
5. ilagay sa ibabaw yung grated na cheese hangang wala ka ng makitang tuna
6. takpan at ilagay sa microwave ng 3 to 5 minutes o depende kung gusto nyo malutong yung cheese

isang container ay good sa 1 o 2 katao lamang.

ang mga pictures ay update ko na lang pag gagawa na ako ulit.